only in your dream

time living is not for you,dreamer –
what do you do then?
do you whimper and die?
or recoil and fade?
hide behind closed doors
cry into pillows
beg those you have loved
too much
too long
too far
kept them
too near
closer than your own breath
till you woke up gasping for air
palpitating with severed lungs
aching heart
exiling from your own body
what then would you do dreamer?
what do you do-
carefully
strategically
amputate your heart from its
aorta
suffocating
ending
depleting…

or

do you whisper to dreams instead…. continually replenishing what the day steals from you-
the leeches that swell with life as they suck on your blood-
when lives divide
and life divides
you return to dreams
for comfort
consolation
for understanding of what is not,
for a balm to ease the ache,
fill the wound-
-repair the gash….
you wake to the ruffling of the curtains
gently swaying like a midnight dancer wooing its audience to languidly linger

a whoosh and wisk
against the window…
glide on the wings of the breeze
delusions you want to indulge in

you ;
spreading your arms –
flying off the edge of
your nanos bed
believing
you can
you will
you must
fly!

child dreamer
in your nanosdupatta-cape

open your  eyes-
the dream is receding-
close them again
remember the dream
return to it
stay..

the dream…
your beautiful labyrinth,
twisting,bending ways
narrow enough to hold your secrets
an ancient city of your ruins
walk barefoot…
thud thuda thud
against the cold stone way…

your walk
your cold walk
anxiousness
anticipation
longing
for the nights and the alleys
winding ways
       and
the trees-
randomly planted
or
maybe they broke
the law of symmetry
just like you 
dream
an ancient
wild
unpredictable dream

you skip a few steps-
earnestness has it’s own need-
walking down the path
the folds of unfamiliarity
promise a familiar face

sweating profusely,
gasping for breadth
you turn the corner

wild bushes overgrow their
insisting selves onto your path
spilling the jhumka bail  over

your feet crush the flowers
like dhanya on the stone sil
setting free
the fragrance-
an entrapment released-
the  oily fragrance of the jhumka bail
seeps in from the pores of your feet expanding through your body

jhumka bail dëë….

smile slightly
hurriedly
the moment awaits
your dream is a corner away

the cosmos spins-
at the edge of the universe-
a dream is born

fate is challenged only in your dream…
fate is defeated only in your dream…

the lone place
where  probability exists
where possibility turns its side
looking at you lovingly

smack your lips!
shoulders back!
run harder and longer
turn the corner

there!

‘i have been waiting for you all day’
kissing your neck longingly,
biting at the supple flesh
you smell like jhumka bail dëë

quasicinis…
your whisper
is your plea;
dont ever leave me…
‘not in your dreams dëë…
never in your dreams…’

april 2018

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